Blissfulness is basically reaching a state of perfect happiness. Even though we may be so grateful for who God sent to us to live a happy married life with, no marriage is ever without disagreements and faults. Marriage bliss is possible but life itself is always going to have troubles, ups and downs, stress, etc. I wanted to encourage you both to appreciate and support one another always. Blended or not, marriage itself can, and should be, a life long commitment to each other.
Eric and I have been married for 22 years now. We both were married before briefly and had kids with our previous spouses, thus the name, Blended! Things did not work out the first time in our previous marriage but it is absolutely working out now. I am forever grateful to God who brought my husband into my life. God knew exactly what I needed. That is why God is so good. He knew before he created us in our mother's womb, that we would be imperfect. Before the foundation of the world, God's plan was to send HIS son into the world to suffer and die on the cross for our imperfections and sin. He did it because He loves us unconditionally and eternally. With all that said, we all make our own choices and we all must live with the consequences of our mistakes but His Grace is sufficient for us all.
Before you make that life long commitment to one another, pray and ask God if this is the one. You many know already, after getting to know that person over time. Sometimes, it could be questionable. Only the two of you will really know.
With Eric and I, we were together for a little over a year when I was working in a nail salon. One day, A nice woman came in to get her nails done. We chit chatted for a few minutes while I began her manicure and then she asked me if she could share a Word that she believed God wanted me to hear. I responded, "Wow! of course you can! I am a believer and would love to hear it!" She proceeded to tell me that God brought my boyfriend into my life and to get married. She didn't tell me anything that was a surprise but it was a confirmation. I was excited and on the way home after work, I stopped at Eric's job to tell him the good news. He was excited too. We decided to get married about 3 months later. That was December 7th, 2002. The best day of our lives.
Has it been blissful ever day since then? Nope. But we learned to understand each other and support each other in all situations. Trust God every single day, even when life gets tough, painful and even unbearable with outside issues. The most amazing blessing you could ever have is being a blessing to your spouse that God has brought into your life. As husbands and wives, our relationship will only be as good as our commitment to make it work. Don't give up!
Recently, this topic has become very popular. I know this because it is happening in our family and started for me over 10 years ago. More about that later... Because our blog is about Christian families, I knew I had to share my heart on this but took some time to really do some research and pray for wisdom. While on Facebook a few weeks ago, a Christian Mom's group for estranged adult kids with almost 5,000 mom members just popped on my screen even though I was not looking for it. That is just one group but there are many more like that available to join. I joined it immediately and I have to say I was shocked at what I read. I always thought I was alone in this situation. But, so did all the other moms in the group, until we began reading each other's posts . Finding out that I was not alone in this painful situation actually helped me so much. This particular group is very encouraging.
if you are not in this situation, you may be wondering why an adult child of ours would want to estrange themselves from Christian Moms? They must have done something horrible to their kids right? Not necessarily. In fact, most of us are not even aware of what we have done wrong to make our kids want to estrange themselves completely from us. We know we are not perfect. We know and are aware that we may have made some minor mistakes or normal disagreements, etc like any other mother and child relationship. We are not claiming to be perfect. Whatever the issue may be, I'm sure we would all want to make things right. Many of our adult kids grew up in the church and are now not interested, fell away or just stopped believing that Jesus, or any other religion for that matter, has any importance or authority in their lives anymore.
What is causing them to walk away? I believe it is the enemy, the devil, who wants to kill, steal and destroy our lives, families and relationships. Many of our adult kids who are in this group have shared that their kids are watching and sharing on social media these sick videos mostly on Tiktok but also on Youtube and other places that encourage separation from your parents emotionally and relationally. These videos are influencing our kids that parents do not need to be honored, respected or listened to about anything at all. They are encouraging total disrespect since we are apparently narcissistic and don't deserve anything. It is an evil lie from satan himself who wants to destroy the family unit and is being hugely successful right now in our society.
Break down the family. Encourage abortion. Encourage marriage between same sex couples who can not have a biological child between them. Teach kids that they were born the wrong sex and teach them in school that they can be better if they trans gender themselves. In fact, just don't get married at all. Having no God fearing, loving families in our community will work perfectly in a broken down society where God is not honored. We need to pray for our kids!
One thing I want to encourage is that we continue to pray for our kids. This is so important. While we wait for God to really draw our kids back to Him and us as their parents, we will trust that He will do it. We will not take things personally and remember that the enemy may have a foot hold on them but we are believing God to heal and restore our kids back to the Father and us because we love them unconditionally.
Next, do not allow the enemy to bring you condemnation and guilt. If you have tried to make things right, or you know what you have done may have been hurtful to your kids and want to make things right, take that step to do so. If they refuse to talk to you, forgive you or even listen, then put them in God's hands. Keep praying, keep loving and believing God for a miracle. We all know God is capable and desires that our families are at peace and blessed. Right now, the enemy is trying so hard to destroy us, trample us with guilt and destruction but we must continue to fight back in the spirit! Stand your ground. Do not pussy foot around your kids because you think they will not like something. You raised them. If you are a God fearing Mom, continue to be who God made you. Repent when you are wrong or have made a mistake and ask forgiveness but do not tip toe around them. Live your God given joyful, full of faith, praying Momma life without apology.
Check out Part 2 of my estranged parent story here.
God bless you and keep believing and trusting our Heavenly Father to restore our families back to us! Let's do this together!
It's been well over a year since my husband and I decided to begin sharing our blended family experiences and support. Well, well well....finally we are getting somewhere. There were multiple pauses during our planning but that is ok. In God's timing, all things work out just right!In the mean time, I wanted to share a little bit about what's on my heart lately. It's a crazy world right now. Our faith is being tested daily. There are questions we have and how to deal with different issues in our home and society. I'd like to encourage anyone who reads this... If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, we can trust HIM to be with us through it all. He will never leave us. His word is true and He does Not lie. He is our comfort and the one who will guide us, if we ask Him.
The main reason I even wanted to share what we have learned over the past 22 years as a blended family, is to be a source of support spiritually for any couple/family who needs it. I don't have all the answers, but God does and when we can pray for each other, and create a community of love, wisdom and support, it may take some of the pressure off and provide more peace.
