In one of my recent videos, I spoke about feeling distant with your spouse. One of the reasons is due to your communication, or lack there of. Actually, not speaking is a form of communication, and not a very fruitful one. Sometimes, out of frustration or hurt, you back away from your spouse. If that is happening, you definitely want to turn that around. Not sure how? Well, I always remind myself why I love him. No spouse is perfect but we should remind ourselves of the positive traits they have and choose to encourage and support them on a daily basis.
When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do after I turn on my coffee maker, is begin praying. I thank God for all of His blessings. I thank God for my husband and family, our health, our income, our home, and all the opportunities that will come our way during the day for us to bless another in some way. Being full of gratitude really does make a difference. Focusing on the good has always been my goal and it definitely helps my mental and emotional awareness.
If we have a disagreement about something, we both try to discuss why we have different views on that situation. I first try to see things from his perspective and not just insist that my way or view is better. Trying to understand each other takes effort. Take a breath and listen while they are speaking. Look at their heart. Communicating each other’s true feelings about something and understanding how each other got to that view, even if we don’t fully agree is so important for your relationship. Giving in and not being stubborn about everything will open up your relationship to more deep conversation which builds trust over time. Learn to give and not always take. Learning to receive from your spouse is also a good thing. Growing your relationship for a lifetime requires commitment and true love.
Blissfulness is basically reaching a state of perfect happiness. Even though we may be so grateful for who God sent to us to live a happy married life with, no marriage is ever without disagreements and faults. Marriage bliss is possible but life itself is always going to have troubles, ups and downs, stress, etc. I wanted to encourage you both to appreciate and support one another always. Blended or not, marriage itself can, and should be, a life long commitment to each other.
Eric and I have been married for 22 years now. We both were married before briefly and had kids with our previous spouses, thus the name, Blended! Things did not work out the first time in our previous marriage but it is absolutely working out now. I am forever grateful to God who brought my husband into my life. God knew exactly what I needed. That is why God is so good. He knew before he created us in our mother’s womb, that we would be imperfect. Before the foundation of the world, God’s plan was to send HIS son into the world to suffer and die on the cross for our imperfections and sin. He did it because He loves us unconditionally and eternally. With all that said, we all make our own choices and we all must live with the consequences of our mistakes but His Grace is sufficient for us all.
Before you make that life long commitment to one another, pray and ask God if this is the one. You many know already, after getting to know that person over time. Sometimes, it could be questionable. Only the two of you will really know.
With Eric and I, we were together for a little over a year when I was working in a nail salon. One day, A nice woman came in to get her nails done. We chit chatted for a few minutes while I began her manicure and then she asked me if she could share a Word that she believed God wanted me to hear. I responded, “Wow! of course you can! I am a believer and would love to hear it!” She proceeded to tell me that God brought my boyfriend into my life and to get married. She didn’t tell me anything that was a surprise but it was a confirmation. I was excited and on the way home after work, I stopped at Eric’s job to tell him the good news. He was excited too. We decided to get married about 3 months later. That was December 7th, 2002. The best day of our lives.
Has it been blissful ever day since then? Nope. But we learned to understand each other and support each other in all situations. Trust God every single day, even when life gets tough, painful and even confusing.
After about a year of being a single Mom of 4 beautiful kids, I was mentally exhausted and needed a break. I called my sister in the Poconos of Pennsylvania where she lived and asked her if I could drop my 4 kids off so I could go see my Dad in NY. Of course, she said, “no problem.” I drove a couple of hours to her house, dropped my kids off and off to Long Island I went.
When I got to my Dads house, I wanted to go to a local club that evening and he was not up to going with me so I looked one up in the yellow pages. I told my Dad, “I’ll go to this place alone. I don’t care. I just need some relief.” I walked into this place alone and ordered a beer. Then, I walked over to the dance floor. As i was dancing on the dance floor, I looked over by the front and saw a really handsome man walk in. He got my attention. He and his friend went over to the bar. I followed after him. His friend hit on me but I was not interested. I asked him, ” hey, who is your friend? ” and he introduced us. That was the beginning of the best of my life. By the end of the night we could not stop talking and so we exchanged phone numbers. Over a week later, he finally called me.
It turns out, he left my number in his friends car who he didn’t see for a few days. When he finally called, we arranged for him to come see me at my home that weekend in Pa. He was a complete gentleman and slept on the couch downstairs. My kids were upstairs. Our conversation continued the entire weekend getting to know each other. Within 3 months, he moved in with me and my kids. I trusted him completely. No I was not going to church at the time. I do not recommend or will encourage shopping for a man in a bar to anyone. I’m just being honest how things progressed.
After a year and a half, we decided to get married and that was 21 years ago. The absolute best decision I have ever made. He gave his heart to Jesus within a year of us living together and we were married shortly thereafter. He was baptized a few years later. This man I married is totally committed to me and my family and has been a hard working man who loves my kids and now our grandchildren. My entire family loves him because of how good he has been to us. I am so grateful to God for sending him to me so quickly after my divorce.
We have been through so much chaos over the years especially in the beginning. That is a huge reason why we decided to begin this journey with Success From The Source. We have learned so much and came through victoriously in the worst of the worst stressful situations.
