Eric and I have been a blended family for over 22 years now but more importantly, we are an American family. Blended or not, we love each other and value our time together. We both love our kids, grandkids and family. We work hard every day, pay the bills, go to church, have goals and dreams and just do life the best way we can. We are always growing spiritually, striving to be closer to God and learn from our mistakes. We know God gave us a purpose on this earth and we do it together with patience, support and prayer.
Isn't that what life is about? Finding what your calling is and who you will live that life with? We all have a valuable purpose to be alive and that is why we are here. Not everyone finds that purpose right away. Many of us struggle, fall, drift and get lost until we figure it out! That is why we have hope and a reason to live. That is why America was built over 200 years ago. The American family is the foundation to society that grows and thrives.
Our founding fathers were not perfect but the people who wrote our constitution wanted freedom. They did not want to live under a King who ruled their lives. They wanted freedom to live our God given lives to pray, raise our families with faith and to know God's word, the Bible. Our country was built for all people to have freedom, even if they were not Christians or Jewish. Freedom to build a business and freedom to do what we were called to do.
As we move forward here with our blog and videos, we will continue to speak about our blended family issues but also share the goodness of being married as husband and wife here is the United States of America. We hope you will be inspired by what we share and believe.
I love pulling weeds out of my garden. I can actually pull weeds all day, if needed! When I pull the weeds, I make sure to pull out the roots as best as possible. Why? Because the weeds will grow back again and again. When a doctor diagnoses your illness, most times they will prescribe you a drug that treats the symptoms and not something to get rid of the actual problem. So, we continue to have the illness but the doctor will keep you as comfortable as possible by downsizing the symptoms for your illness.
If we were to do our own research and due diligence, we may actually find that if we change our diet to a healthier group of foods with specific vitamins and minerals, we may be able to remove the actual illness. That is why I needed to write this today. When it comes to spiritual issues in our lives, it's important to reflect on what actually is the problem and not just the symptoms. For example, you may be depressed and have anxiety. Most of us may turn to a temporary fix like an alcoholic drink once in a while to relax us and help numb some emotional pain. Maybe even eat more food. We may turn to anything else but trying to understand why we feel/act the way we do.
What I love about our Heavenly Father is He is always there for us even when we don't want to see Him or look to Him for wisdom or comfort. He will never force us to do anything. He wants us to want to draw near to Him, honor and trust Him on our own. He desires that we run to Him when we need help and when we need anything. Think about it....He is our source for all things in our life. Even the physical things. Everything. If we try to fix our emotional struggles strictly via a drug, an activity, relationships or anything besides Him, we will not be totally better. To be clear, God can use activities and relationships and people to heal you. Relying on those things only and not God is the issue. If we allow God to heal our thoughts, our motivations and downfalls, and we understand why we are acting a certain way, we can be fully changed for the good.
Ask God to help you understand whatever your issue is and Why it is present in your life. Ask God to forgive you if you do see that your actions were not good due to anger or pride. Ask God what is the root of your issue and He will show you if you truly want to know. He is willing and able to remove the root of the problem so you can move on in victory with your life.
Recently, this topic has become very popular. I know this because it is happening in our family and started for me over 10 years ago. More about that later... Because our blog is about Christian families, I knew I had to share my heart on this but took some time to really do some research and pray for wisdom. While on Facebook a few weeks ago, a Christian Mom's group for estranged adult kids with almost 5,000 mom members just popped on my screen even though I was not looking for it. That is just one group but there are many more like that available to join. I joined it immediately and I have to say I was shocked at what I read. I always thought I was alone in this situation. But, so did all the other moms in the group, until we began reading each other's posts . Finding out that I was not alone in this painful situation actually helped me so much. This particular group is very encouraging.
if you are not in this situation, you may be wondering why an adult child of ours would want to estrange themselves from Christian Moms? They must have done something horrible to their kids right? Not necessarily. In fact, most of us are not even aware of what we have done wrong to make our kids want to estrange themselves completely from us. We know we are not perfect. We know and are aware that we may have made some minor mistakes or normal disagreements, etc like any other mother and child relationship. We are not claiming to be perfect. Whatever the issue may be, I'm sure we would all want to make things right. Many of our adult kids grew up in the church and are now not interested, fell away or just stopped believing that Jesus, or any other religion for that matter, has any importance or authority in their lives anymore.
What is causing them to walk away? I believe it is the enemy, the devil, who wants to kill, steal and destroy our lives, families and relationships. Many of our adult kids who are in this group have shared that their kids are watching and sharing on social media these sick videos mostly on Tiktok but also on Youtube and other places that encourage separation from your parents emotionally and relationally. These videos are influencing our kids that parents do not need to be honored, respected or listened to about anything at all. They are encouraging total disrespect since we are apparently narcissistic and don't deserve anything. It is an evil lie from satan himself who wants to destroy the family unit and is being hugely successful right now in our society.
Break down the family. Encourage abortion. Encourage marriage between same sex couples who can not have a biological child between them. Teach kids that they were born the wrong sex and teach them in school that they can be better if they trans gender themselves. In fact, just don't get married at all. Having no God fearing, loving families in our community will work perfectly in a broken down society where God is not honored. We need to pray for our kids!
One thing I want to encourage is that we continue to pray for our kids. This is so important. While we wait for God to really draw our kids back to Him and us as their parents, we will trust that He will do it. We will not take things personally and remember that the enemy may have a foot hold on them but we are believing God to heal and restore our kids back to the Father and us because we love them unconditionally.
Next, do not allow the enemy to bring you condemnation and guilt. If you have tried to make things right, or you know what you have done may have been hurtful to your kids and want to make things right, take that step to do so. If they refuse to talk to you, forgive you or even listen, then put them in God's hands. Keep praying, keep loving and believing God for a miracle. We all know God is capable and desires that our families are at peace and blessed. Right now, the enemy is trying so hard to destroy us, trample us with guilt and destruction but we must continue to fight back in the spirit! Stand your ground. Do not pussy foot around your kids because you think they will not like something. You raised them. If you are a God fearing Mom, continue to be who God made you. Repent when you are wrong or have made a mistake and ask forgiveness but do not tip toe around them. Live your God given joyful, full of faith, praying Momma life without apology.
Check out Part 2 of my estranged parent story here.
God bless you and keep believing and trusting our Heavenly Father to restore our families back to us! Let's do this together!
