I love pulling weeds out of my garden. I can actually pull weeds all day, if needed! When I pull the weeds, I make sure to pull out the roots as best as possible. Why? Because the weeds will grow back again and again. When a doctor diagnoses your illness, most times they will prescribe you a drug that treats the symptoms and not something to get rid of the actual problem. So, we continue to have the illness but the doctor will keep you as comfortable as possible by downsizing the symptoms for your illness.
If we were to do our own research and due diligence, we may actually find that if we change our diet to a healthier group of foods with specific vitamins and minerals, we may be able to remove the actual illness. That is why I needed to write this today. When it comes to spiritual issues in our lives, it's important to reflect on what actually is the problem and not just the symptoms. For example, you may be depressed and have anxiety. Most of us may turn to a temporary fix like an alcoholic drink once in a while to relax us and help numb some emotional pain. Maybe even eat more food. We may turn to anything else but trying to understand why we feel/act the way we do.
What I love about our Heavenly Father is He is always there for us even when we don't want to see Him or look to Him for wisdom or comfort. He will never force us to do anything. He wants us to want to draw near to Him, honor and trust Him on our own. He desires that we run to Him when we need help and when we need anything. Think about it....He is our source for all things in our life. Even the physical things. Everything. If we try to fix our emotional struggles strictly via a drug, an activity, relationships or anything besides Him, we will not be totally better. To be clear, God can use activities and relationships and people to heal you. Relying on those things only and not God is the issue. If we allow God to heal our thoughts, our motivations and downfalls, and we understand why we are acting a certain way, we can be fully changed for the good.
Ask God to help you understand whatever your issue is and Why it is present in your life. Ask God to forgive you if you do see that your actions were not good due to anger or pride. Ask God what is the root of your issue and He will show you if you truly want to know. He is willing and able to remove the root of the problem so you can move on in victory with your life.
This is a difficult story to write but it needs to be shared. My husband Eric and I have 6 adult kids between us from our previous marriages. Their ages are from 27 to 38 years old. Three out of the six kids are estranged for different reasons. Those 3 are mine.
My youngest daughter was the first to walk away, over 10 years ago when she and her husband decided to get married without us even knowing when or where it would be. That decision was absolutely all her husbands ruling. He is very controlling. She did tell us they were getting married at first and we actually went to a bridal salon near us with my other 2 daughters one day for her to pick out a wedding dress. It was quite an emotional day for all of us, but they did not know when or where they were going to get married at that time but thought it would be in a few months. Then sometime after that, I found out from another family member that she did actually get married. I called her husband directly to ask what was going on and when they actually were married. He said to me, "It's not your business." That was the beginning. He was never involved with our family or wanted to visit. She came to see us 2 or 3 times over 10 years. Then, in 2020 I encouraged her and her husband to come visit us. They live in Texas and we were in Florida. I offered to pay for his airline ticket and eventually, he agreed to come with her to visit us for about a week.
All was good for the first day. The next day we had a family get together at our home and my sister in law asked him what he thought about BLM. The summer of riots was currently happening. Things heated up with my son in law and my brother for a while. My husband asked them to stop multiple times but they didn't listen. Eventually my brother and his wife decided to leave and the conversation continued with my son in law outside toward me and my husband. We spoke for a few minutes and things heated up again. Her husband called me some nasty names. My husband reacted by telling them to leave and go back to my other daughters house where they were visiting. I cried my eyes out having to do that but he was so disrespectful. I'm grateful to my husband who protected me and did not allow my son in law to continue his disrespect in our home. It was not my daughter who was disrespectful. It was always him, but ever since then she refuses to speak to me and has blocked me from calling her. She just gave birth to our youngest grandchild 9 months ago and I have not met her yet. I may not ever meet her at this point.
My other daughter has estranged herself from me on and off since she got married about 4 years ago. No matter what I do or not do, it is not acceptable to her and she doesn't like the fact that I pray for her or that I'm a believer in Jesus Christ. She wrote a beautiful book in high school when she was a believer. Her husband is amazing and I have a beautiful grand daughter from them now. I've tried so hard to understand why she doesn't like me and want to make things right but there is nothing I can do other than continue praying that God would heal our relationship. I love her and have always been there for her over the course of her life.
Then there is my son who I am so very proud of who has recently stopped communicating with us also. We had a huge disagreement about 6 months ago and my heart is so heavy with how things turned out that night. I believe it was more of a misunderstanding between us that turned into a bad evening. The one thing that kept me hopeful before this incident occurred, was that I knew I still had a good relationship with my son. Obviously, not as good as I thought. I believe that this generation has been so indoctrinated by TikTok and other internet platforms that they actually believe there is no need to honor their parents. We as parents are apparently narcissists, according to so many of our adult kids. No, most of us are not. When God commands us to honor our parents, it's not because we are "know it all's" or that we are to be worshipped. God wants us to honor our parents as we would honor Him. If we can not or choose not to honor our parents, we will not be able to honor our God. It's just the way he created us to be.
Forgiveness is so important here. We know that sometimes in rare situations there are some evil parents who may have done the unthinkable to their kids. In that case, we are to forgive our parents but not necessarily stay in their lives unless there is a complete repentance and turn around of that parent who hurt you so badly. I'm not speaking of those cases. Forgiveness toward those who hurt us is really for our own good. Also because we all need forgiveness for our own actions during our lives. If we can't forgive, why should we expect God to forgive us? He wants us to be like Him. Loving, forgiving, humble, peaceful and caring. He says we need to love our neighbor as ourselves. If you love God, you will seek to do what He desires. What He desires is going to bring peace to our own lives.
if you are currently in an estranged situation with one of your adult kids, continue to to pray for them and love on them.
Blissfulness is basically reaching a state of perfect happiness. Even though we may be so grateful for who God sent to us to live a happy married life with, no marriage is ever without disagreements and faults. Marriage bliss is possible but life itself is always going to have troubles, ups and downs, stress, etc. I wanted to encourage you both to appreciate and support one another always. Blended or not, marriage itself can, and should be, a life long commitment to each other.
Eric and I have been married for 22 years now. We both were married before briefly and had kids with our previous spouses, thus the name, Blended! Things did not work out the first time in our previous marriage but it is absolutely working out now. I am forever grateful to God who brought my husband into my life. God knew exactly what I needed. That is why God is so good. He knew before he created us in our mother's womb, that we would be imperfect. Before the foundation of the world, God's plan was to send HIS son into the world to suffer and die on the cross for our imperfections and sin. He did it because He loves us unconditionally and eternally. With all that said, we all make our own choices and we all must live with the consequences of our mistakes but His Grace is sufficient for us all.
Before you make that life long commitment to one another, pray and ask God if this is the one. You many know already, after getting to know that person over time. Sometimes, it could be questionable. Only the two of you will really know.
With Eric and I, we were together for a little over a year when I was working in a nail salon. One day, A nice woman came in to get her nails done. We chit chatted for a few minutes while I began her manicure and then she asked me if she could share a Word that she believed God wanted me to hear. I responded, "Wow! of course you can! I am a believer and would love to hear it!" She proceeded to tell me that God brought my boyfriend into my life and to get married. She didn't tell me anything that was a surprise but it was a confirmation. I was excited and on the way home after work, I stopped at Eric's job to tell him the good news. He was excited too. We decided to get married about 3 months later. That was December 7th, 2002. The best day of our lives.
Has it been blissful ever day since then? Nope. But we learned to understand each other and support each other in all situations. Trust God every single day, even when life gets tough, painful and even unbearable with outside issues. The most amazing blessing you could ever have is being a blessing to your spouse that God has brought into your life. As husbands and wives, our relationship will only be as good as our commitment to make it work. Don't give up!
Just as we have a heavenly Father who we are to honor, God created family with parents that we are commanded to honor. Ephesians 6:2-3 Why wouldn't we? After all, even though all parents are imperfect, God designed us to honor them. I grew up with a beautiful mom who became a Christian when I was about 10 years old. I started going to church with her and gave my heart to Jesus at the age of 12. Right around that time, my Dad, who was not a believer struggled to stay with my mom and left us.
This was a difficult time for us as a family. My father has since then apologized to me and my siblings and even my Mom for leaving. Eventually he did end up getting remarried to another woman and had 2 more kids. He knows he made a mistake many years ago. I still remember watching him walk out of the house with his suitcase and leaving us. I remember feeling so so sad and empty because I loved Dad and couldn't understand how he could walk away. Even though we all went through painful times back then, we forgave him and understand now, as adults, how things can fall apart just because we are broken people. All of humanity is broken and many of us grow up in hurtful situations due to our parents growing up in hurtful situations. That is life.
Now that I'm in my late 50's, I understand this even more. God knows this better than we do and still wants us to honor our parents. It's His first commandment with promise. Of course, we will never be in total agreement with everything our parents do. We are all different, even as we grow in our faith, we naturally have different opinions about many things. God still knows that having children and raising them the best we know how will still have us fall short yet He expects us to honor and respect our parents.
So, what does it mean to Honor our parents? Remember, God does not say honor them if they do everything right. He says, honor your parents regardless because they chose to bring you into the world and raise you. For example, many of us honor the military for their sacrifice and dedication to our country. They are not perfect but they are doing something super amazing in my view. Really, having some consideration and respect while in your parent's home or having conversation is simple and not that complicated. It takes time, resources, commitment and unconditional love to care for our kids. It takes true sacrifice to be a good parent. Life is all about giving and building a strong family foundation so our kids will learn and grow up to do better than we did. That is what most parents want and strive for. A better life and legacy that we can pass on to our kids.
If you are struggling to love and honor your parents, I pray that God will give you a desire to forgive them and see them differently even if they hurt you in the past. Forgiving does not mean you agree with what they did to hurt you. You are not suggesting that by forgiving them, they are right. Forgiveness is always for our emotional and spiritual benefit because then you will have peace in life. Holding a grudge and being bitter about how someone hurt you is not going to make things better. It only hurts you. Pray for those who hurt you, including your parents. Remember that you are not perfect and have made mistakes also. The same way God gives us mercy and grace every single day, we need to have a heart of forgiveness and grace toward others, especially our parents and family members.
How many times in your walk with Jesus, have you questioned the events that have happened in your day to day living? I can't even count how many. I'm in my late 50's and have been a believer since I was 12. There are too many to count for me but as much as I know that my God exists, and I've seen God answer the most seemingly impossible prayer requests over my lifetime, there are still questions that do arise.What is most important is knowing that you know. Like a small 5 year old that will believe anything their parent tells them because they know that their Mom or Dad is smart and loves them. They don't understand the meaning of love and trust, but their inner being and their heart knows better. God created us to be able to trust Him with faith. Believing that He knows better than we could ever know because He knows the future and He wants the best for us. He does not force us to believe though. He created us to decide what we wanted to do and never wanted to force someone to love or trust Him. That is what faith is all about. When we can't see the future, or understand what in the world is going on in our life, we will know that God will work it out.
An unbeliever will not see things the same way. They usually will question why God would allow people to suffer. "If God is so good, how could he allow bad things to happen?" is usually the big question. This is a crazy world with evil in it. God created us knowing that Adam would sin but then God would send His only son Jesus Christ, to pay for our sin on the cross. In the mean time, there is still evil because not everyone in the world chooses to do good. We, as believers, fall everyday too. I still believe that God is good and He planned it so we would be able to choose Him and want to be close to Him. Life is not perfect and just because we believe in God doesn't mean we will never go through difficult times. It means we will have HIM to comfort and support while we go through our trials.
Think about it.... as a believer who has gone through some trials in life, haven't you learned from them? Did you grow spiritually in your understanding of what God was trying to teach you? I did. I do every single time. Even now, while I'm in the trial of my life, I have learned to trust God, knowing that His Grace is sufficient for me and the more I pray and seek Him, He reveals Himself in the most amazing ways. God always has a plan who knows the future, knows how many hairs are on our head and loves us unconditionally. Trusting God comes from going through difficult and pain full times coming out on the other end victoriously.
Read Philippians 4:6-7
